A few weeks ago, I experienced the divine pleasure of encountering Gwendolyn’s groomer. After declaring, in a playful, teasing tone, that Claudette reminds him of someone (wink wink), I continued to proudly show pictures of my little Barrette. In response to my storytelling of each picture, he exclaimed, “Oh! You’re in love!”

Processing what he had just said, I looked at him, replying firstly with a big cheesy smile, then offering, “Yes! Yes I am in love!” I am so in love with Claudette Barrette that my heart smiles to the great moon and back, to the great Pluto and back! And yes, just as I am in love with Claudette, Pluto is, indeed, a planet.

This revelation of truly being in love set my heart into grand jeté mode. I literally shake with excitement each moment that I reunite with Claudette. Not only does she physically resemble my first love of Gwendolyn to the core, but she is genuinely excited and happy to see me. Whether I am gone for three minutes or for three hours, the love explosion upon assembly is Earth-shattering. And this made me realise that I have never been in love with a man.

Yes, I loved Sir Henry for many years, since our first date in May 2005, maybe even before that going back to December 2004 when we met on match.com. And I probably still do love him. It’s kind of hard to throw away something like that. In fact, we had a really good few months over the summer. It was lovely, and I thought that maybe I (we) could do this long term. But in the end, we always seem to clash. My sister Stephanie thinks that despite Sir Henry’s high level of intelligence that he just doesn’t know how to emotionally handle a non formally educated girl who refuses to conform, rather doing things as her way. I care about him very much, and as always, he thinks I’m the bratty culprit in our newfound silence, but whatever. I am hurt, and I am allowed to be hurt. I expressed that to him. And crickets. I know that I’m a lot to handle, but really I am a lovely person if you will let me think as I wish.

This whole ordeal with Sir Henry and realising that I’ve never been IN LOVE with him but rather just that I love him caused me to truly think about what I want in a companion. I’m at that age where a companion would be wonderful. I wanted for Sir Henry to be my companion for so many years that I think my brain established him as the mould, and this is why I always returned to his embrace.

This new quandary about what I seek in a companion plus my binge-gorgeous weekend of Netflix’s Clickbait led me to download the OkCupid app for a party of swiping left and right (in the past fortnight they have changed this feature to X or Heart). And I made myself a little profile, proclaiming exactly what I want for a life with a companion.

So here is my dating profile:

The idea of being a glorious girlfriend whose daily activities include walking my dog, practising Ashtanga yoga, receiving treatments at the spa, writing bestsellers, ensuring that the cleaners create a perfect haven before the gentleman returns to home where I shall greet him with an expertly curated cocktail in preparation for our night of watching classic filmography on TCM with my dog and sushi delivery sounds to be amazing!

I continue to list my heroes, my current goal, my golden rule, the nine things that I could never do without (the form requests six things but I never do things according to form, lol).

And a few pictures including this one…

And this one…

Maybe one day I shall find the gentleman of my dreams. Stephanie, who is my clone, encouraged the ending to this blog article. Ringing true to Atlas Shrugged form, she advised me to write: “I have therefore found no many worthy of zipping my dress.” But I am certain that he exists.

The light in me recognises the light in you.